Saturday, November 10, 2012

From the Beginning



Starting in 2008, I began to keep significant, or insignificant emails from the family.  

Some are fun, some are sorrowful, all are from inside the family circle.

And, all will be fun for you to look at in little periodic spurts now and then.

There were so many to choose from and this is only a tiny bit of what is written...but I couldn't include them all, sad to say....so

Merry Christmas and Happy Reading.





The Gifford's Farm - April 2011


Dear Mom and Dad,
Tonight I asked my boys to run over to the Jensens and borrow some garlic. They both complained and whined and said why do I have to go and how come you always ask me to do everything. I thought, that’s it. I’ve had it up to here with your complaints. You think that’s hard? I’ll show you what’s hard. I’m going to send you to the Gifford's farm. 

I knew if they spent time there it would be hard, because of all the times I heard about it growing up. Whenever I would complain about having to set the table or take out the garbage, I’d hear how if I complained on more time, I’d have to go live on the Gifford’s farm for two weeks. Then I’d know what hard work was. Because at the Gifford’s farm, you had to get up at 4am every morning to milk the cows. And that was just the beginning. Then you had to go put a new roof on the barn and by the time you did that, the cows needed milking again. Then you had to slaughter one of the beef cows and deliver the meat by horseback to the outlying neighborhoods, but hurry and get back because you had to milk the cows one more time before you headed off to school. 

That’s just the sort of hard work I needed my boys to learn, I realized. So I called up Lee Gifford to let them know my boys would be coming to work. Get ready for some light-weights, I said. But I want you to toughen them up. In fact, I only want them to eat nails and hot sauce while they are at your farm. Lee said, “Hold it! Now just hold it right there. I think you have the wrong idea about this place.” I said, I don’t think so. This is the Gifford’s farm, right. He said yes. I said, You’ve got all those cows to milk, right. He said, well, we do have some cows, but we have a bunch of Mexicans that milk the cows, now. We don’t so much have the dairy farm the way we did when you kids were little. Once we realized we could get somebody else to milk those cows, we figured we’d make our farm an amusement park.

I started to get light-headed. Where would my kids learn to work? I said, let me get this straight. Your farm is an amusement park? He said, Oh, you’d love it. We have a Ferris wheel, pony rides, cotton candy up the ying-yang, dunking booth, carousel, snow cones, shooting gallery, I’m telling you what, I’ve never had so much fun in my whole life. I said, Fun? You can’t have fun there. You’re the Gifford’s farm? What am I supposed to do with these boys of mine that think their arm will fall off if they have to go borrow eggs? He said, bring ‘em by. Next week we’re having a two for the price of one discount!
Justin

Thanks for the Gifford Farm essay.  It's great to have you doing some writing
Allen

This totally made me laugh out loud.  You are so very very gifted at writing Justin. Loved it and apologize that I was such a mean mom with all those threats. Love mom

Don't worry Loni- I'm *meaner*. I tell the kids that I'll "sell 'em to the gypsies". Too bad for them that I just went to Europe and found a whole slew of gypsies....none of whom seemed open to my suggestions (in high school french), that they might consider a few extra mouths to feed....They're stuck with me for now, I guess....
xo
Janna
PS. Where's Gifford's Farm? :D

it's true she does threaten us with the gypsies.
Oliver

Gypsies wouldn't be a bad gig. Get to travel, see the world, wear big rings. 

Justin this essay was hilarious. And take heart... There would still be work for your boys at the amusement park... Someone has to say "keep your hands and arms in at all times". Miles would say that with such oommph and pizazz.
jenni

PLEASE Read This: Rebuttal to My Previous Email‏ - Jul 2012


Hello All,
Yesterday, I sent you an email about the new W-2 Tax Forms. Now I am writing as proof that chain emails are RARELY, if ever, to be trusted. PLEASE don't take chain emails at face value.
 
The email I sent refers you to Kiplinger. Please go here and look for yourself: (look at #3): http://www.kiplinger.com/businessresource/forecast/archive/health-care-reform-tax-hikes-on-the-way.html
Yes your insurance costs will be put on your W-2 but it is for checking penalties for those without insurance not for taxable income. You may remember they put the IRS in charge of collecting penalties for those without insurance. Thanks to my good friend, Debbie, who is smart as a whipple, for clarification and for championing truth.
 
I'll make you a promise....I won't pass along political emails to you anymore. Would you mind returning the favor?
 
Thanks,
Jen

No. I like political emails. Keep em coming. 
Jeremy 

I like the one about the garage. For me, I approve the following forwards: interesting tidbits about monkeys, photos of kittens, youtube videos about anesthesia that are funny, clips from the onion, fantastically strange weather phenomena, pictures of children, memes, clips from NPR, comments about politicians that are awesome or interesting (ron paul's son, sarah palin), information about yellowstone, online petitions about illiteracy and, I haven't seen this one yet, but something about building bat cages outside would be great. I heard once it's supposed to be great for mosquitos and I would be willing to try it, if the forward were convincing enough anyway. 

As I think about, I guess I usually like forwards. If I don't like them, I can usually find the delete button.
Jordan

Now, This Was a FUN Surprise!‏- July 2012

Here's what we saw on ABC nightly news on the 4th of JULY....

It was quite a surprise....

(There will be a little short commercial before the news story, so just hang in there.)


Ha! Ha!  Made us laugh.
Loni

This is great!!
Beverly Murdock - Rexburg

WOW!! HOW AWESOME!!  Your family is FAMOUS and changing the WORLD—One Chinese made American Flag at a time!!   (Now I have to go home and check where all of our “American” flags were made!) Thanks for sharing and Congrats!! 
 Gavin Gee - Boise

Oh my word!  Hackworth's right there on ABC news...It is a good thing you weren't watching NBC!  Is that so fun to see those little faces you know and hear Justin's voice....fun for me too...thanks for sharing. 
Denys Wheeler - Rexburg

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  How great was that.  Fun Fun to have your kids on a National News program.
And so true - we need to buy more American made stuff.
Linda Asay - St George

 I bet this was a fun surprise.  What a great story and cool pictures.  We forwarded to our family.  Let Justin know we want his autograph now that he's on national news.    
 Erin - Michigan

 

Thank You, Jeremy - Nov 2010


Dear Jeremy, I want to thank you for your service to our country. I love the picture you have on Facebook; to me it represents your time in Afghanistan, and though it was difficult foryou to be away from your family, I recognize what an important job our military does. Thank you, dear son. we are so proud of you on this veteran's day, and every day! Much love. 
Loni




Agree with mom. I know you only did it for the money, (hahaha) but we r still proud. Seriously, proud.
Jenni


What Do You Guys Think About Kids?‏ - Nov 2011

You know, inviting them to join mellowwood?

I bet they'd enjoy the emails, and might occasionally have something nice to say.
Jordan

personally, I've always liked kids.
Loni

What I think about kids is that they are expensive.
Jenni


So true.
Jordan

Recomendation Letter‏ - Mar 2012