It hit me this morning! While I was laying in bed wondering why I am so picky and not satisfied with any of the men I have dated- I finally realized what the problem is. I have already lived with the most perfect example and picture of what a great husband and partner should be- and I have been looking for that all along. I can't find anyone that is as awesome and incredible as my dad. When I think about everything I want in a partner- dad has every one of them!! Think that is a coincidence? Here's my list: (in no particular order)
Sense of adventure- I love how dad would say- let's go down a road we've never driven down before. Or how every summer he would pull out a map and say ok- where should we go this summer. He is always wanting to go somewhere or see something new. I love that about dad! And I love that about myself- which I know is because of his example.
Intellectual- dad is always wanting to learn something new, reading, talking about different concepts- and then teach them to his kids. I love how smart he is and always wanting to keep his mind sharp. Reading, keeping our house filled with books and installing in his kids the desire and importance of learning and education.
Romantic- I love the example of how dad treats mom. I have memories of dad kissing mom in front of us growing up and I always loved that he was not ashamed to demonstrate to us kids how much he loved mom. He always speaks so highly of her and treats her with tenderness and respect.
Social- dad is always putting together some kind kind of gathering- the breakfasts for his students once a semester- now his ATV rides. I know mom is a little bit more of the social butterfly that I think I get that piece of me from.... But dad has it too. And I really like it.
Handy and resourceful- I mean he built his own house for heavens sake. And how he would always work so hard on the yard. He would do projects on his own and just figure it out. Like raising the garage. I mean seriously- that was incredible! And a little scary.
Frugal- self explanatory. And awesome.
Musical- I LOVED growing up hearing my dad play guitar, piano, and sing. I have very fond memories of sitting at dads feet in his bedroom while he sat in that blue chair next to the fireplace asking him to play song after song. And he knew so much about music that he taught me.
Funny- I love dads quirky sense of humor and then when he laughs- Oh man I love it, what a rich sound! I love how his mouth kind of turns up when he's about to tell a joke. I always knew when he was getting silly- I could tell by looking at his lips. And it always made me laugh.
An incredible dad
Appreciator of the outdoors- I love that we grew up camping and fishing. That dad would teach me the names of the trees
Handsome- still to this day....
Sensitive- dad has a tenderness and sensitivity to things that are beautiful and things that are sacred that is a wonderful trait.
Selfless and giving- dad is such a great example of a giving generous person. He used to take care of sister Lawson and a bunch of others.
Willing to help around the house- I used to think it was always so cool that dad would be willing to do what was traditionally womens work. I was always so proud and felt I had such a progressive dad cause he would help mom around the house.
Clean- he appreciates and tries to keep his surroundings clean and organized. His tool wall in our garage was a great example of that. He would always say to me- have a place for everything and always put it back in its place. What simple but incredible advice.
Cooks- I have to honestly say I did not appreciate his mystery stews as a kid- but I do now!!! And I love that he would take a turn cooking.
Always a teacher. Always a teacher.
I mean essentially I can't say enough good about dad and how wonderful he is. I mean, how lucky am I to have such an amazing example of a father. Only problem I guess now- is it has made me extremely picky about who I want as a partner. John Adams said the most important decision you'll make is the spouse you choose- and one reason is because of the partner you have to help you raise your kids. And when I think about the pieces of myself that I really like and am proud of- it's always the pieces I feel that were taught to me by my parents. And looking at this list I have realized that so much of these things were things TAUGHT to me by dad. He is overall a great teacher- both by direct teaching and teaching by example. How appropriate that was his career. But I too want a partner that will teach. Teach me- and if I would be so blessed with a little tyke (what he used to always call me) and teach them.
I couldn't make it through writing this email without tearing up. My dad is so amazing and I feel so lucky to have his influence in my life. And by the way, I could write an equivalent email about how incredible and awesome mom is- but I am not gay and am not looking for a female partner which is how this whole thought process materialized. Just sayin'.....
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